When I was seven years old the concept of Severus Snape actually being a good guy blew my mind.
Twenty-one year old me realizing metal bands like Dying Fetus, and Anal C*nt have also been the good guys, blows my mind too.
Every two weeks or so, I cycle through my gym playlists. Sometimes I’ll revisit old ones, occasionally they’ll be entirely new; often, I’ll just pick my songs as I go.
Cage The Elephant.
With the exception of face-painted killer clowns rapping about stabbing mailmen and mutilating household cats, my musical preference remains relatively wide-open.
However, while in the midst of one these routine shifts in music, I ended up venturing down the uncharted path of heavy distortion and headbanging. I took a left turn at Mötley Crüe, headed down Slipknot, and then banged a uey (insert Boston accent) at Cattle Decapitation. I dipped my feet into heavy metal and while I admit it was a little too cold for comfort, I gave it a try.
But that’s when it dawned on me.
These long haired, wiry fellas have been the heroes all along.
I’m far from a metalhead, but I also think for that purpose - it only proves my point more. While you may hear blood-curdling, self-loathing lyrics - that can’t be as bad as what exists at the Grammy’s, right? And for all I know metalheads may take me saying that as an insult. Nonetheless, The general public pays attention to two things: image and sound..
Nicki Minaj half-naked, shaking her ass over a fat beat and rapping about the sex appeal of coke dealers < Slipknot’s indistinguishable screams under guitar shreds.
I’m not saying modern hip-hop or heavy metal is any better than the other - to each their own. What I am saying is that when little Jimmy's musical collection is filled with booty this, bitch that, and ‘Molly’, you should have been a little more grateful during his Avenged Sevenfold phase.