Few things make me more uncomfortable than witnessing a family that features a first-name father.
“Hey Jim, would you pass me the milk please?”
“Jim, I need you to sign off on my report card.”
I can unequivocally say the lowest point in a man’s life is if or when he becomes the dad who is referred to solely by his first name, and not “dad.”
With few exceptions, when you make the transformation from “Daddy” to “Rick”, you’re taking a hard loss on the box score.
If you refer to Valentine’s Day as Singles Awareness Day - please press the x on this screen, turn your computer off, and proceed to repeatedly hit your forehead with it.
If you enjoy Valentine’s Day, great. I applaud your ability to turn this weekday into a smile.
If you're indifferent to Valentine’s Day then just refer to it as Tuesday, February 14th.
If you insist on disliking Valentine’s Day, then just refer to it as “a consumer holiday,” and complain about work all day like an adult.
But can we please for the love of god, all agree on one thing? Can we put this Single’s Awareness Day flame?
You’re not being cheeky - you're just being obnoxious. Stop snapchatting yourself eating nachos with your friends, holding glasses of wine and labeling it. Just eat the f**king nachos, and take a day off from the twitter feeds.
If you're calling it Single’s Awareness Day you should probably starting calling it "Nobody Will Put Up With My Shit Day" instead.
I went to the college bookstore after putting off buying my textbooks for as long as I possibly could. Today is judgement day, and I without a doubt need the textbook for my classes today. I scan the shelves until I come across what I need.
Media Copywriting - 8th Edition
Writing For Public Relations - 4th Edition
It’s a hard pill to swallow, but I can’t deny the inevitable. I grab the textbooks and bring them to the woman behind the front desk. I then proceed to ask for the renting option for both.
“Sorry this one is for buying only.”
She points to the $188 dollar book.
I say I’m not surprised. We share an awkward laugh.
If there is one thing I’ve learned during my time at school it’s that you gotta pick your battles wisely. This is a rational purchase and needed to complete these classes so I swallow another pill. But, I should go to the student billing office to go sign up for a book voucher option first because, well, what the hell? what's another loan anyways?
I take a stroll to student billing, complete the form and am told if I don’t receive a phone call in the next 30 minutes that I’m all set for the book voucher.
Twelve minutes later I receive a phone call.
“Your book voucher application has been denied due to several financial holds on your account.”
It was during those 20-25 minutes that I learned more about my future ahead then the past four semesters combined could ever teach me.
How The Middle-Class Gets Screwed - 1st Edition