Hey GNC, whose ingenious idea was it to offer customers free samples of protein powder, and pre-workout? Hey, rub this pre-workout powder on your gums and go bicep curl that 20 lb bag of mass-gainer. After a couple sets come sample this dry protein without water.
There is no better place to illustrate the way consumers are treated like mindless cattle than a health and nutrition store. Label something with XXX, mass, or performance and all the local assholes will keep your house warm for the next two years. If you label something with all three, forget heating the house - you’ll be drinking a Piña colada somewhere in the Caribbean.
When we use the term “asshole” why do we instantly assume men? I don’t subscribe to the theory that only men can be assholes. A woman has the potential to be just as much of an asshole as a man.
Few things keep me on the edge of my seat more these days than the musical decisions of Chipotle. Is it because the teen whose wrapping my burrito has holes in his ears big enough to pass a taco through? Is it because the men in black coats who run Chipotle employed scientists to find the perfect burrito-eating soundtrack? Today I heard the James Bond theme remixed with ukuleles and bongo drums. Whatever the source may be, Chipotle’s music is captivating.
Whatever happened to mallrats? While I’m sure no one is complaining about the extinction of this vile species, I’m curious as to when adolescents stopped french-kissing in movie theatre lobbies and smoking butts in front of mall entrances. I hypothesize that mallrats died when Limp Bizkit’s music career ended.